Huh?!

Tired I am, so tired..

The school holidays haven't been so great for me.. Working, from day till night, as soon as I wake up, I have to already get ready for work, and then I'll only be back late into the night, midnight would be the latest.. For your information, I'm working at pizza hut part time just to earn some extra money and kill the boredom that I'll surely have during the school holidays.. Well, enough about work, lets talk about something else.. Um, me being so busy lately and not having any outside interaction other than the customers I tend to at work, I feel so lonely and bored.. My hand phone is another sad story, haven't topped it up in about 2 weeks already.. And the only messages I receive are from Hotlink or Maxis, some stupid caller ring tone and free movies stuff..

Other than that, nothing.. Blank..

Sad, so sad it is..

Bored, so bored it is..

Oh my, how should I get over this? People say, just deal with it, but I've dealt with it for so long already, and I'm sick of it.. Others say, do something fun and filling.. But what is there to do, my surroundings are just so plain and vain, nothing interesting..

Of course there would be some other opinions, like a friend of mine suggest me to find someone special.. I mean really special.. From the opposite sex..

I've actually thought of it a couple of times already but I don't ever get to it..

I do sometimes try, but trying would not get me anywhere right.. I must do it.. Although, I do, and yet I fail.. Fail miserably.. How pathetic..

Not the girls, but me.. I used to be a shy guy, but now after much encouragement from friends, I manage.. Manage to say Hi, and just keep quiet like a statue in front of a girl.. Its a little improvement right? Ha ha.. Again, pathetic..

I like girl, I mean, what kind of guy doesn't right.. But, liking is not like a crush, or so like love.. At the moment I like some, have a huge crush with one and with that same one begin to fall in love.. But as the Malay saying goes, "its like clapping with one hand".. How am I supposed to go on if I don't tell her.. Here I go again with my dumb love life which doesn't have a direction..

All the girls I like have this problem with me.. Its either, the already are in a relationship or they are not ready, or some just don't admire me as well as I adore them.. But some are way over the top and get on my nerves.. When I finally got the guts to tell them how I feel, they don't reply and suddenly disappear.. How evil.. Don't they care about how I feel? I don't think so..

That's another thing about myself, I care to much about others and less about me, something I don't even take care about myself.. But When I care about people, do I get anything in return? Some of them are great, they reply then care I give them and make me feel so happy.. I like to make people happy, I would do and try my very best to do so.. As long as they are happy, I will be happy..

Currently, this girl I have a crush on is the best one yet.. I've known her for a long time, about 3 years, but we don't actually know each other.. Not too detailed I'll say, I'm afraid she'd notice.. I had a crush on her since the first time I laid my eyes on her, standing there all dazed and confused in need of help.. Funny, I was there to aid her.. She said I was sweet.. Now, I guess I'm too late, shes in a relationship, not sure with who but she is.. As long as shes happy, I hope I'll try to be happy..

My friends, tell me, if I really like a girl, tell her, but how should I tell her if shes already taken? He says, just tell her and try to get her if I really like her even if it mean she'd have to break up with her current boyfriend.. But that a bad thing to do, disturbing and spoiling a relationship.. I'm not that type of person and I'll never be.. She's happy now, so if I really love her, I'd let her be..

fin~

Till next time~